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Friday, 23 March 2018

Happy Friday!

{Spotted in Edinburgh}

Hello there! It's been a while, hasn't it?

The break from blogging I've had over the last few weeks was completely unintentional. It came from a feeling of being overwhelmed, taking too much on and a lot of things being out of my control.

In February, I over committed! On top of everything else there is to do in life, I baked five cakes, and not simple little things. Big detailed birthday cakes, and they all take a lot of time. Not to mention the constant mess in the kitchen, that made it feel as if I was doing nothing but cleaning up after myself, and the icing sugar floating around. As well as that, I was doing a lot of DIY in the house, and trying to get it finished so that things can go back to normal. The upstairs of our house is currently, best described as a nightmare! I like to think things could always be worse, it's how I keep myself feeling happy and positive. But living in mess, not having space for your things, and having the simple task of trying to find clothes in the morning, become an actual mission -can get to you! The saying "tidy house, tidy mind" is a saying for a reason. It got to the point where considering making more mess, just to take a blog photo, wasn't worth it. Oh, and the crazy snow we've had, well that flagged up a few issues we need to have fixed on the outside of the house.

Again, I know things could always be worse, they could, but feelings can build, and lead to you feel worse in other ways. The cakes and mess, the DIY mess, the chaos that is upstairs was getting to me, and I missed one post on a Friday because I had no time. Usually that wouldn't have been an issue, things get missed, sometimes you run out of time -totally acceptable! But because I was already feeling overwhelmed, that made me feel worse. Then that feeling grew and I started to wonder what the point was anyway. "Why would I bother, no one cares really", "I have nothing interesting to say", "what am I bothering for, it's just a waste of time"...and so on. Leading to this little space being ignored, along with any other forms of social media.

Of course, these feeling came from everything feeling out of my control, they passed, and I started to feel sad that all the things I had planned for this space had been ignored. Drafts of posts have been left unfinished, photo's taken but not sorted through or edited, I haven't even picked my camera up in weeks...very unlike me. But the longer I left it, the more difficult it felt to start again. Which isn't a nice feeling to have about something you love doing.

I'm not writing this to be "oh poor me", not at all, and I don't want this to read as if I've been unhappy for the last few weeks, because I haven't! Lot's of wonderful happy things have happened, one of which being me finding my wedding dress!! (a story I have to share with you soon). Making the whole "we get married in October" thing seem much more real. There have been birthdays, lovely days out with friends and family, lots of fun happy times, the only thing that was missing was this. Oh, and I still haven't missed a day of my Polaroid Project, just incase you were wondering!

The point I'm trying to make is this. It's far too easy to get wrapped up and taken in by these feelings, to let all the small things build and build, until they're one collective mass on your shoulders that you can't deal with. When a few little niggles are getting you down, it's all too easy to let things get to you that usually wouldn't be an issue. Upstairs is still a huge mess, and I still can't get to a lot of my clothes, the issues outside still need fixed...but it's ok! As annoying as it all is, it will be tackled eventually. Sometimes it's more about taking a step back, looking at everything as separate tasks to be dealt with, instead of thinking of it all as a whole. We all have these times when we feel sorry for ourselves, but they pass.

So, it's a very happy Friday indeed! Even just writing this post has made me feel so excited to be back again, you don't realise how much you miss certain things until you stop doing them. The sun is shining outside, it's actually starting to feel like Spring, and we have a weekend of fun plans ahead of us.

And before I go, how are you all doing? What have you been up to in the last few weeks, anything exciting? 


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